Archive for January, 2008

Dark days …

Last few days haven’t been good. Lots of uncertainty at work, an inkling of which I got on Friday. So, there was an uneasy feeling in the back of my mind all weekend. Then yesterday, it was confirmed. ~15 people from our group have to relocate to the west coast by summer or leave. 6 more of us are left, and apparently we are ok (at least for now!). But I feel terrible for those affected. Many are strong contributors and a pleasure to work with. Lots of them have been in this area for > 20 yrs and can’t see themselves relocating. For those who want to, the housing market is terrible and they’ll probably take some losses if they have to sell there homes now. I’ve been so depressed since yesterday. Many other groups are being disbanded, there are open questions as to how long this site will be functional and other such unpleasantness, insecurity. I have not looked, but I don’t think the job market here is that great. Many companies are moving out of the state, the few that are around are rumored to be laying off too, so I don’t think there are any hiring sprees anywhere.

Then I was hoping to do something small at home in celebration of Sankranthi. It started off by me waking up only ~6.15 am because PK forgot to set the alarm. That is late even for a regular day, let alone to do something special! On top of that AK really exasperates us with his slow motion movements in the morning and not getting ready for school quickly. So there was yelling, crying etc. Then the bad atmosphere continued at work. Then that stress transfers home and even the smallest provocation by the kids lets my emotions loose and it spirals into a negative feedback loop.

One of our old friends is in town on a business trip and so I was making some special dinner, but amidst all this chaos, I royally screwed it up. That had me feeling very low too, but now that dinner is over, its behind me. The guys are sitting and talking, the kids are sleeping and some time for me to reflect on whats happening to me, around me etc. I just saw that our stock has tanked. Fitting end to a terrible day.


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I have nothing profound to say except that when I started, I didn’t think I’d make it this far. I’ve enjoyed having this outlet for the various things going on in my life.

Surprising thing happened at the breakfast table this morning. AK goes “I know how to count to 5 in Kannada”. Not believing him, I asked him to go for it. And he did it say it all right! There’s another kid in the neighborhood who is in his class and they ride the bus together and it seems he taught him. I’m hoping he’ll learn more words. I’m ashamed that I’ve not tried to teach either of my kids my language. Not that I didn’t want to, somehow didn’t work out.

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The much awaited day is finally here!! AK lost his first tooth today at 6 yrs, 7 months! Most of his friends had started losing their teeth around 5.5 yrs, so he had been really anxious to lose some. Then in the last 6 months about 4 of them had become loose, but none were falling. Added to that his adult teeth couldn’t wait any longer and they started sprouting about 2 weeks ago. It looked ghastly but when asked, he said it didn’t hurt. Then today, he couldn’t take it any longer, I guess. One of the lower ones was so loose, he twirled it around with his finger and tongue and finally took it out. He went to bed wondering if the tooth fairy would visit and how much he’d get for his tooth. He was also telling me that one his friends got her money in a gift wrap! I don’t have the patience for that and intend to tell him that is only for the girls …

On a different note, he’s apparently skiing very well. Hope to get a chance soon to see him. The last time I tried to do that, SK (yes, she explicitly asked me to call her that!) gave me a hard time. She wanted to walk up the bunny slope and stand in line for the rope. She was running all over and I was afraid that she would be in the way of people reaching the base. She fusses every time they leave home for skiing or ice skating. AK wants me to go watch him and she won’t let me do that. PK says he can’t wait to take her and I can’t wait for the day that all three will be gone doing something fun and I will have some time alone to myself!

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